1. Worldwide: check before you go
LGBTQ+ rights vary enormously around the world. Some countries protect you by law in shops, gyms and spas; in others, same-sex relationships are still criminalized. Living there or just travelling, check the current situation first. These global sources are updated regularly:
- ILGA World mapsLGBTI laws country by country: criminalisation, protection, recognition
- UN Free & EqualThe UN's global campaign for LGBTIQ+ equality
- Amnesty International: LGBTI rightsGlobal research and campaigns
- Human Rights Watch: LGBT rightsReports on abuses and protections worldwide
2. By country
United States · New York
Federal public-accommodations law doesn't list sexual orientation or gender identity, so protection depends heavily on state and local law. New York has some of the strongest protections in the country (see below).
United Kingdom
The Equality Act 2010 protects people from discrimination because of sexual orientation and gender reassignment, including as a customer of a business.
Canada
The Canadian Human Rights Act covers sexual orientation and gender identity or expression. Most businesses fall under provincial or territorial human rights codes, which protect them too.
Brazil
In June 2019, Brazil's Supreme Court (STF) ruled that, until Congress passes a specific law, homophobic and transphobic acts fall under the crimes of the anti-racism law (Lei 7.716/1989). Report human rights violations to Disque 100: dial 100, 24/7, anonymous if you want.
European Union
Equal treatment is a fundamental right in the EU. Protection for customers differs between member states, so check your national equality body too.
Australia
The Sex Discrimination Act 1984 makes it unlawful to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity or intersex status, including when getting or using services.
3. Local angle: New York City & State
New York City. The NYC Human Rights Law is one of the strongest civil rights laws in the US. It makes it illegal to discriminate based on actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender, including gender identity and expression, in employment, housing and public accommodations: businesses and places that serve the public, like stores, restaurants, gyms, spas and wellness studios.
New York State. The New York State Human Rights Law covers sexual orientation (added by SONDA) and gender identity or expression (added by GENDA) across the state. The NY Attorney General notes that health care providers are also largely covered by these anti-discrimination laws.
4. What respect looks like at a massage or spa
- Where the law protects you, a business can't refuse you, charge you more or give you worse service because you're gay, bi, trans or queer, or because they think you are.
- You get the same professional standards as everyone: intake, privacy, draping, boundaries.
- You can expect your name and pronouns to be respected.
- Harassing comments about who you are aren't acceptable, before, during or after a session.
- A therapist can still decline or end a session for non-discriminatory reasons, like a health contraindication, scheduling or inappropriate behavior. Respect goes both ways.
5. Safety & consent at appointments
- Check credentials. Rules for massage therapists differ by country and state. In New York, they're licensed by the State and you can verify a license online.
- Consent is ongoing. You can ask for less pressure, skip an area or stop at any time. A good therapist checks in.
- Boundaries are agreed first. Draping, touch and pressure are discussed with you before the session, and you can change your mind any time.
- Professional massage is non-sexual. Sexual comments, requests or touching are misconduct. You can end the session and leave.
- Trust your gut. Share your location with a friend for a first visit somewhere new.
- If something happens: in an emergency call your local emergency number (911 in the US). In NYC, the Anti-Violence Project runs a free, bilingual hotline at 212-714-1141 and an online report form, and misconduct by a licensed massage therapist can be reported to the NYSED Office of the Professions.
6. How to report discrimination
Outside New York, start with the official body for your country in section 2. In New York:
(212) 416-0197 or online. Generally within 1 year (3 years for gender-based harassment).
(844) 697-3471. Free, no lawyer needed. Within 3 years for acts on or after Feb 15, 2024.
1-800-771-7755.
Wherever you are, write it down first: the date, the business's name and address, who said or did what, and why you think it was about who you are. Keep screenshots, receipts and messages.
More support
- NYC Anti-Violence ProjectBilingual hotline: 212-714-1141 (check their site for live hours)
- The Trevor ProjectCrisis support for LGBTQ+ young people (US)
- NYSED Office of the Professions: massage therapyNew York licensing info and where to report misconduct
- NYSED: verifying a New York massage therapy licenseHow to check a therapist's license and registration
FAQ
Can a massage studio or spa refuse me because I'm gay?
It depends on where you are. In many places, including New York City and State, the UK, Canada, Australia and the EU, anti-discrimination laws protect sexual orientation when businesses serve the public. In some countries there is no such protection. ILGA World's maps show the situation country by country.
Where do I report discrimination?
Usually to your national or local human rights body. In NYC: the Commission on Human Rights, (212) 416-0197. New York State: the Division of Human Rights, (844) 697-3471. UK: the Equality and Human Rights Commission. Canada: the Canadian Human Rights Commission. Brazil: Disque 100. Australia: the Australian Human Rights Commission.
Is this legal advice?
No. It's general information to help you understand your rights. For your specific situation, talk to a lawyer or one of the organizations listed on this page.
General information only, not legal advice. Gay Massage NYC is not a law firm and does not offer massage services. Links go to official and nonprofit sources.